The reason the bird feeders are empty

 Excerpts from the Sheriff's Report:

2:50 a.m. - Report of a male at a door with a flashlight claiming to have driven into a cornfield after following Google Maps.  Vehicle was found 300 yards into the field.

3:41 a.m. - Two dogs fighting with a skunk.

8:27 a.m. - Black car parts all over the entrance to ski hill.  Driver reported falling asleep while driving.

9:46 a.m. - Intoxicated woman reporting theft of a vehicle.  Determined woman did not remember she lent her vehicle.

10 a.m. - Facebook Marketplace scam reported.  Package was successfully intercepted and returned to owner.

10:40 a.m. - Extra patrol requested for BB gun shot holes found in window of a residence.

1:54 p.m. - Welfare check for husband who hasn't checked in for an hour.

2:57 p.m. - Report of a donkey farm with fencing close to the road.  Determined not to be an issue.

3:40 p.m. - Suspicious yell for help.

4:56 p.m. - Theft of a deer stand from public land.  Caller was advised deer stands need to be removed every evening.

5 p.m. - Suspicious vehicle parked with it's lights on.  Determined a man was eating dinner in his vehicle.

5:10 p.m. - White Dodge utility truck possibly hauling stolen round hay bales.

8:04 p.m. - Citizen upset about not being able to reach his doctor.