High Water on the Dam

Excerpts from the Sheriff's Report:

1:44 a.m. - Suspicious female standing in the doorway to the Area Library.  Determined she was using the WiFi.
1:48 a.m. - Citizen attempting to turn her oven on but can't.
2:21 a.m. - Report of a large underage drinking party with multiple juveniles fleeing the area.
5:07 a.m. - Report of a male drinking alcohol at the WW Bar.  Determined the male was painting and not drinking.
9:21 a.m. - Two women locked in a bathroom and shouldn't be there.
11:00 a.m. - Mother reported to have been bit by child because she wouldn't get out of bed for days.
12:30 p.m. - Citizen felt that someone may have entered her residence when she was not a home.
1:45 p.m. - Report of more than 10 individuals on the softball field.
2:00 p.m. - Woman reported to have called a citizen an idiot repeatedly.
2:58 p.m. - Report of a neighbor's dog on a citizen's property and the neighbor threatening the citizen's children for returning the dog.  Neighbor argued with the officer.
3:35 p.m. - Burglary by an ex-husband.
5:00 p.m. - Report of a home smelling bad after the pipes were plumbed from flushing too much food down the toilet.
5: 00 p.m. - Report of a woman yelling at people in parking lot.  Determined she was yelling at her dog.
5:30 p.m. - Vehicle versus telephone pole.
8:05 p.m. - Welfare check for someone doing drugs around her children.  Determined the caller was in a feud with the person.
8:52 p.m. - Suspicious knocking at a backdoor reported.  Determined to be the wind.
9:21 p.m. - Suspicious person attempting to kidnap a pet duck and geese.
10:35 p.m. - Daughter upset because she doesn't want to stay home and her mother took her phone.